Change Is A Good Thing

In just a matter of a few days, a few struggles, and a few tears, I am happy to announce Little Man is FINALLY potty trained. Yes, I expect a few accidents here and there, but he is now taking the initiative to do what he is supposed to do. Now to work on dressing himself. Soon, very soon, he will be mostly independent and will need me less and less. Yes, I am happy about this because I want him to be able and independent. I want him to grow up and be self-reliant and confident. I want a little me time back. Yes, this makes me sad because my baby is too fast becoming a little boy who will be a big boy and before too long be a young man. I miss my little snuggly guy. Already he pushes away when he's had too much. And dropping him off at school where he used to hug and cling to me, he now just waves me off and says, "Bye Mama."

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And just as quickly as they grow, they develop their own likes and dislikes. When he was a baby, one of his first words was 'tree.' He LOVED trees. We'd go to the park and he spent more time running from tree to tree, touching them, giggling, and saying "tree!" than he did playing on the slides. It was charming. So, what could a mother do? I put a tree in his room. Well, I ordered the tree and my husband put it up. I LOVED that tree. Recently, Little Man told me he didn't like the tree any more and he began pulling it off his wall. So today, with great sadness, I removed the rest of the tree. It was one of my favorite things about his room. And when I get around to fixer-uppering the bonus room into my craft/work room, I may order another one and put it in there. If you like it you can order it here. He took down all his Mickey Mouse stickers too. Now he's into pirates and fireworks. That will change someday too and he'll be into who knows what.

Meanwhile, my husband and I are celebrating our 7th anniversary on Sunday. Wow! Time flies when you are having fun! Where we started out celebrating our anniversaries with weekend trips, or visiting wineries for wine tasting, or a ride in the convertible or on the motorcycle. Now, we are going to a movie and then to dinner. We did that last year too. And I think we just went to dinner the year before that. Dinner and a movie used to be a common occurrence - now it's a treat. We don't get out much with our busy schedules and the Little Man and it's hard to sit in a dark movie theater without falling asleep since we've been sleep deprived for a number of years now. Don't laugh, but we are going to a matinee and then an early dinner so we can get home and get to bed at a reasonable hour. What can I say? We are both over 35. *ahem*

I'm constantly amazed how things change and never in the way I expect them too, and always for the best. Now that our literary journal has been launched and we're beginning to plan for March's issue, and I've finished the editing job I took on, and I'm finishing up the remaining projects I had, it's time to get back to my revisions on my novel (finally). While I've been toiling at other things, I've been marinating on ideas and scenes that need to be improved/discarded/rewritten. It's turning into quite a different story than I began. And that's for the better.

It's About Currency

This blog is about potty training and not money so if you're not interested, read no further. But since this is really the main focus of my life at this time, it's what's on my mind. Sometimes it's funny, others it's frustrating beyond words.

So, Little Man is still in potty training mode. He's getting better but he's resisting. He will go on the potty when we are visiting relatives, out to dinner, on a road trip, at school, and well, anywhere except at home. At home, he turns into the resistance army and goes into counter-offensive mode - hiding, running away, yelling, crying, and sometimes slapping. It takes a LOT of time and energy to coerce him into getting on the potty to just pee. And he always seems A) surprised and B) so proud of himself (like it was his idea) he announces it to the entire neighborhood. Meanwhile, I'm exhausted and chasing him around the house to get him dressed. As for the other end of business, that's a big no. He will go off and hide in another room to um, fill his pants. I know, gross.

We've tried everything positive: praise, stickers, rewards, treats, you name it. We've tried everything negative: time-out, taking away TV, taking away toys, etc. We've gone to taking away toys in increasing numbers: today it's one toy, tomorrow it's two toys, then three, etc. Right now the Little Man has a bed in his room and just a few toys left. He's even gotten into it by removing the stickers on his walls saying he doesn't want them any more. I applaud that he isn't a hoarder but still...

I did manage to locate his currency. Clearly his toys or TV don't mean anything to him. At least not enough to get him to willingly drop his drawers and go on the potty. So, what would? How could I let him know that it is just as important to be potty trained at home as it is everywhere else? Hmmm. His currency? Me.

Every night he will only fall asleep if I'm laying down next to him. Then, sometime in the middle of the night, he will come into our room. At first we let him climb into our bed. But now he's getting too big so we set up a cot in our room where he can go to sleep. Last weekend after he was quite adamant and rebellious about the potty and even told us he would NOT use the potty, we were done. So, the thing we took away from him? Me. Mommy put him in his bed, told him a story and left. The cot was removed and it was made very clear that until he uses the potty there will be no Mommy at night time.

Yes, this makes me cry. It breaks my heart to hear him cry. I fight my instinct to cuddle him in the middle of the night. But, at some point he has to understand his choices and consequences. This went on for two nights. Last night, he woke in the middle of the night, came to me and told me he had to go on the potty. I took him, he didn't do anything but he looked at me with big sad brown eyes and said "Mommy can sleep with me now." So, of course I did. God bless him he tried and he was figuring it out. Today he has been more cooperative and every time he'll say to me, "Mama, I went on the potty, you can sleep in my bed." So, yes, in a few minutes we will be going to bed. He earned his Mommy back.

The Southern Tablet and Other Stuff

So this is November. November is a busy month. It is National Novel Writing Month, National Thankful Month, there's Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Christmas Tree lightings, Alabama plays Auburn (Roll Tide), and the beginnings of all things Holidays. Love this time of year!

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www.agwire.com

Best part of holiday season? Food. I LOVE food. I'm not a cake/pie/cookie person but I do like gravy and mashed potatoes, and hors d'oeuvres, and stuffing, and casseroles, and soufflés, and wine. Ummmm..... This could be why I need to hit that place, what's it called? Oh yeah, the gym. *pout*

Another outstanding thing happening this November is the launching of a new literary journal called The Southern Tablet. The first edition makes its debut on Saturday, November 9th. Initially, it will be online only, but within a year there should be a print version as well. You can see the journal at www.thesoutherntablet.com. So, what's my interest in this? No big deal, I'm just Managing Editor. That and I have one story and one essay being featured in it. Well, everyone on our staff has two pieces featured. We will be accepting submissions beginning in January for our March issue. If you are interested in submitting, please see the website for the guidelines.

Also, this month we launched our accompanying blog called The Southern Tablet. You can find it at www.thesoutherntablet.wordpress.com. What is awesome about our blog is we are writing a round-robin novel in honor of our launch and NaNoWriMo. Each one of us chose a day to write a chapter of a story. My day is Tuesday. If you have a chance, check it out. Not just my entry, of course, the whole thing. It's really good and who knew that we were actually that creative! Then keep up with it until the conclusion.

What do you have going on this November, aside from catching up on our blog and breathlessly awaiting The Southern Tablet? Yes, I plan on getting back to my revisions on my novel. Things quiet down a bit after Saturday. Would love to hear from you!

What Time Is It?

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So, my husband and I joined a gym. Yippy. For those of you who know me, you not only heard the sarcasm in that "yippy" but you felt it too. Hubby likes to be active, so this is going to be good for him. Plus he says he wants to lose weight and get back into shape. I get that. There's a daycare for the Little Man so that's good for him.

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www.freedigitalphotos.net

I don't like working out. There, I said it out loud. I don't like to sweat. I don't like to breathe hard. I don't like to "work it." I do not understand why anyone would want to "feel the burn" and it is not a good thing to feel sore the next day. Deliberately hurting yourself is called masochism. It is abnormal behavior and psychiatrists can prescribe medication for that condition. However, I do want to lose weight. I'd like to be the size I was when I got married, which yes, ladies, was the size I was in high school. I'd like to drop my blood pressure so I can be around for the Big Man and Little Man for another 30 years. God knows they need me. So, I'll try this working out thing.

This gym may not be so bad. First, it doesn't smell like a gym. Nothing worse than walking into a place and smelling sweat and bad breath. Yuck. This gym is air conditioned. I don't like to be hot, so I was pleased to see the A/C set at 63 degrees. They offer yoga at normal temperatures and best of all, they have treadmills and elliptical machines in a movie theater! So, I think I'll be able to find things to do and going there won't be too depressing.

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www.freedigitalphoto.net
 

While we were being sold on the gym, the salesman health consultant said that if we made just 3 hours a week a priority, we'd see results. I guess he thought my priority was results. Actually, the 3 hours per week is what got me. I still don't know where I'm going to find 3 hours a week. If you know me, then you know that time is a HUGE issue with me so I started thinking about all the things we are supposed to spend time on during the week. After a little research, here's the list according to the pundits:


• Sleeping = 56 hrs.
• Personal hygiene (showering, teeth brushing, etc.) = 7 hrs.
• Food (cooking, eating, clean up for 3 meals per day) = 21 hrs.
• Work = 40 hrs.
• House Work (includes laundry) = 21 hrs.
• Yard Work = 4 hrs.
• Budgeting (includes paying bills) = 1 hr.
• Planning (setting up the next week) = 2 hrs.
• Errands = 6 hrs.
• Entertainment (TV, movies, etc.) = 14 hrs.
• Socialization (parties, conversation, etc.) = 4 hrs.
• Interactive time with the dogs = 15 hrs.
• Interactive time with the child = 21 hrs.
• Working out = 3 hrs.

Grand Total is 215 hours of things to do each week. The down side is that there are only 168 hours in a week so I'm short 47 hours each week. I guess I'll just have to give up sleeping to fit everything else in. What? You say I'm a stay home mom so I don't work? Wrong. I do work. I write, edit, do revisions, teach crocheting and knitting and we are days away from launching a literary magazine. I work from home. And I try to do all the other things I'm supposed to do too. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail. What do you do during the course of the week? How do you spend your time?

Scary Things

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It's Halloween. It is one of my favorite holidays. In fact, it is my third favorite holiday. First is Thanksgiving, then the 4th of July, then Halloween. It used to be second but them Little Man was born on the 4th of July so I had to bump that one up. Anyway, I love to see the kids all dressed up. They are so cute! I love to see the families all dressed up together. It's fun. How wonderful to participate with your children that way. I love the left over chocolate. I never pass out sugary candy (I don't like it), just chocolate so I can eat it the left overs. There is nothing more fun than going to a costume party and having the house all decorated with Halloween stuff. On my bucket list is to host a Halloween costume party. Some day.

This year, Little Man and the Big Man will go trick-or-treating like they did last year and I will pass out candy to the kids who venture down our street. Little Man is going to be a pirate. He loves pirates. Pirates and cowboys. He has been carrying around his hook (plastic and part of his costume) and his belt which he calls his cowboy lasso. He told me he is a cowboy pirate. It works for him. Tomorrow, Little Man will be asking for his candy from the time he gets up in the morning until he goes to sleep. This will go on for days, or at least until my husband and I can eat it all so we can tell him there's no more candy. Mean? Not really. The last thing a 3-year old needs is candy. That's scary.


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Tomorrow is also the 1st of November. That means there are only 17 days until our anniversary (7 years), 28 days until Thanksgiving, 55 days until Christmas and 61 days until New Year's Eve. Throw in my husband's birthday for good measure too. Yikes! Menus must be planned, travel/guest arrangements made, gift lists need to be written for wishing and purchasing. All of that makes my hair stand up when I think what few days there are for making all these plans and arrangements. Can I eat chocolate now?

November is also a big deal because our literary magazine,
The Southern Tablet, launches on the 9th. That is more exciting than scary, but you never know what sort of reception it will have. The anticipation makes me chew my fingernails.

Finally, November is also National Novel Writing Month. I am partially participating in NaNo this year in that our journal staff each has chosen a day of the week to blog a round-robin "novel." I picked Tuesday and will have 4 installments to write for the whole month. Unless Allison delivers her baby early in which case I'll have Thursdays too. I'm still revising my novel and I still have a half-finished novel that needs to be completed so I don't think I'll start anything new. However, I am considering using the NaNo month to complete my revisions. Getting back to my writing schedule and discipline is what I need to do. Nothing creepier than being disciplined!

These are scary times, starting with today -- Halloween. From here on out it is a speeding roller coaster taking us up and down and around in all directions until the last champagne cork pops on New Year's Eve. Time passes too quickly and with all the things there are to do crammed into this short amount of time it seems to go faster and faster. It feels like taking that first step into a haunted house. You know your perspective will be skewed. You know that there will be things jumping out at you. You know that the passageways have been darkened and narrowed and there are sounds of banging and screaming from all directions to disorient you. Still, you take a deep breath, hold it, and run on through; stopping for nothing, and only exhaling when you've made it safely through the maze and have exited into a peaceful place.

In Search Of Pizza

Pizza by Suat Eman
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Friday night is Pizza Night at the Rhoden household. There are 52 Fridays in a year so the quality of pizza is vital. I grew up in the northeast so I know quality pizza. We had Steve's Pizza, and Balzanos. We won't even talk about the pizza you could get in Providence on "Garlic Mountain" or in Boston, and of course, New York. My husband grew up in Maryland so he knows crab cakes. That being the case, the responsibility of finding a really good pizza falls on my shoulders. I haven't lived in the northeast since I was 17 when I went away to college so the task of finding pizza in the south that can compare has been a long journey.

I'm not disparaging southern cooks. Southern food is fabulous in its own right. I mean really, who doesn't love chicken and dumplings, or fried chicken? Pizza requires the right touch and the right water to make the right crust. Fortunately, I lived in Florida and saw the great in flux of Yankees of the 1980s and 90s. With the Yankees came pizza.

One of the best pizzas that came to our little town is Scorpio's Pizza. The pizza is fantastic and their other offerings are equally wonderful. If you make it to Deltona, FL for any reason, you must have one of their pizzas. I was very happy to introduce my husband to real pizza and he loved it! Scorpios Pizza established our "pizza scale" in our quest for a good pizza. I'm happy to see that they've been successful and have two locations now.

We have settled here in Georgia and our pursuit for pizza continues. We prefer to try the mom & pop run pizza places for good food, and cozy atmosphere. We like it when we can get to know the people there and they know us (yes, like Cheers, "where everyone knows your name"). We thought we had found that place and for the last 3 years we have been patronizing the same location every Friday night (well, most Friday nights). Little Man was still in an infant carrier when we found the place. He grew up there. and for the first two years it was great. The people knew us by name. They knew our order without needing to take it. We tipped well. Little Man had his first bite of garlic bread there. He had his first taste of pizza there. When he started talking, he knew their names. Last year our place changed ownership. The food is still good but the atmosphere has changed and all the people we knew left.

So, with a heavy heart, we have begun our search for a really good pizza and a really good atmosphere. Last week we tried a place and loved the pizza. The atmosphere wasn't bad either but it was a bigger place and not necessarily "cozy." The pizza ranked 7 on the Scorpio's scale and the atmosphere placed a 5 or 6. This Friday we will try another place to see how they rate.

In my novel, which yes, I'm still revising, Walter Martin has a regular place where he is known. What do you look for in a "regular" place to go? Good food? Good atmosphere? Friendliness? Let me know some of your stories.

The Happiest Place On Earth

We recently took our Little Man to Disney World for the first time. We didn't tell him where we were going and we watched him during the hour drive from my husband's mother's home all the way into Orlando and onto the Disney Highway. It wasn't until we were in the parking lot and he saw the signs with the Disney characters marking the parking lots and the convoy of shuttle busses with Disney written on their sides until he lit up like a light bulb and shouted "We're at Disney World!" It was like Christmas.

Photo by LeeAnn  Rhoden

The day belonged to him; choosing rides he'd like, looking for characters he knows, singing along with the songs he can sing. Even down to selecting where to eat lunch and dinner so that there would be something he'd eat. He wasn't hungry. He wanted to ride and to see and to go. His favorites? It's a Small World (of course), the Flying Carpets, and the Swiss Family Robinson Tree House. We stayed late for the Electric Parade but bugged out before the fireworks to avoid the million-person dash to the parking lot and because Little Man fell asleep in my arms and he was getting heavy.

It was hot. It was crowded (it's a small world). Things that only really matter to adults. He doesn't remember that. He doesn't remember waiting in 30+ minute lines. He sings the songs and asks me "Remember the flying carpet, Mama? I made it go up, up, up!" Hopefully, he will remember this trip for a while, at least until our next trip.

Photo by Mr. Rhoden

Sure, I could go on about the crowds, temperature, lines, the expense ($30 for 3 hot dogs!) and a couple of rather unpleasant encounters with other park patrons and their behavior. I might even mention that the park employees are not what they used to be. But this was not my trip. This day belonged to Little Man and to him it was all magic. Characters brought to life, images made real, dreams come true.

It's all perspective. Adults may see the unpleasant parts of things or the dangerous parts of life but children see the new, the magic. Perhaps adults need to just let go and look at life through children's eyes more often. To see the possibilities rather than the impossibilities. Then anywhere can be the Happiest Place On Earth.