Stuck Between A Dog And A Doorjamb

Our fixer-upper house is, obviously, an older house. A late 20th century home to be exact. A traditional, colonial revival. It is not one of the newer open floor plan homes where the living space is one giant room - living room, dining room, and kitchen - all together. Our home, having a traditional floor plan, is made up of lots of rooms - a living room, a dining room, and a kitchen - all compartmentalized. I was raised in a compartmentalized house. Husband was raised in a compartmentalized house. It's what feels right to us. It also makes it easier when Little Man is being little monster and needs to be in time out for a few minutes - we can put him in another room, away from the stimulus that caused his tantrum. Or he can continue his tantrum out of our earshot. Either way it's a win-win.

There are lots of plusses with separate rooms. I can be banging and clanging in the kitchen and Husband can be watching TV in the family room and my noise won't disturb his viewing pleasure. Also, we can entertain and have people over for dinner and they aren't looking at the mess I made creating the feast. I can even put off doing dishes and kitchen cleaning after dinner and enjoy the evening because out of site, out of mind.


The down side to having separate rooms is doorways and entry ways. There are several passageways that seem to collect the family (Husband, Little Man, me, and both dogs) at precisely the same time creating a traffic jam. Usually at dinner time or when we are trying to get ourselves together to leave the house. It's like the Three Stooges.

To me it seems odd that we have this issue in our home and I don't know what to do about it. I don't recall this problem in my home when I was growing up. Maybe I need to reorganize the house so that there is one way traffic through the doorways and passages. But that won't work either. Perhaps in our fixer-uppering I should suggest to Husband expanding the size of these areas. If we remove the back staircase, move the main stairs, knock out the half bath and move it to the laundry hall where the back stairs used to be ..... I don't think he'll go for it. Maybe later, after we're done with the fixer-uppering and time has passed and it will be time for remodeling. *smile* As a writer I call it rewriting and revising. *grin*

Puzzles

Image from Wikipedia

I have decided I have an addictive personality. I'm not addicted to drugs, or alcohol, or anything bad, although I did smoke for a number of years. I'm not addicted to working out, gambling, or shopping. I'm not addicted to cleaning, although my mother is so it's AWESOME when she comes to visit. No, I don't think it's wrong to let her clean. She hums and smiles while she sweeps. Besides, she's the only one who knows where the dust mop is. But, I digress. My addictions are more mundane and probably boring to most people. What are they? Coffee, Diet Coke, Little Man's hugs, the use of the Oxford comma, good food, and puzzles. I am a puzzle-holic.


Image from blog.discoverymagazine.com

I love all sorts of puzzles: jigsaw, cryptograms, word jumbles, anagrams, Sudoku, you name it. Recently, I discovered a Sudoku app for my IPhone. Glee! The result has been that at the expense of other chores or conversation, I spend lots of time on my Sudoku app. Any puzzle will draw my attention like a shiny object. SQUIRREL!

This also translates to really anything I have to figure out or concentrate on to get right. A complex knitting pattern, crochet pattern, needlepoint pattern, embroidery stitches, a new recipe, organizing a schedule or creation of a Gantt chart. I love the focus and concentration these take. It allows me to escape deep into my own brain, my focus, my thoughts. It's alone time while the chaos swirls around me. Truly, when I am in deep concentration I don't even hear what is going on in the same room. It's calming and soothing. I guess that's why I enjoy reading and writing mysteries. Inside the mystery is a place of calmness for me.

I recently read a post from a blog on writing that characters should be given hobbies. These hobbies can better identify the mental function of the character so the readers, especially those familiar with the hobby, can relate to the characters. So, I think, Walter may actually be a puzzle addict. Why else would he be a detective?

What are some other hobbies out there? What do they tell you about the person who has these hobbies? What do your hobbies say about you?

Children's Movies?

So, my Little Man LOVES Disney movies. All of them. I know because I have seen all of them in the past year. Every. Single. One. Of. Them. Name one and I've seen it, over and over and over again until he has memorized the storyline AND the songs. Then he will run through the house with his figurines and reenact the movie complete with soundtrack. Yes, it's adorable and annoying at the same time. And he will pick his favorite characters and name his figurines after them. His latest favorite is Frozen and we've seen it at least five times in the past two days.

Ask any of my former students and they will tell you that I am not a big fan of Disney's movies that are adaptations of classic tales. At least not as the only access to the tales. Why? Because they've been revised and I can't stand revisionists. They change the outcome and therefore the moral of the story. For example, in The Little Mermaid they do not live happily ever after like in the movie rather the little mermaid dies. Same thing in The Hunchback of Notre Dame. There's no singing and dancing and everyone dies. No, I don't think small children need to be exposed to death, I'm just saying that when they get older they should be introduced to the real story. However, I read The Little Mermaid when I was no more than four or five years old and I haven't suffered any ill effects.

Anyway, this movie is as far removed from Hans Christian Anderson's The Ice Queen as to be an original story so I don't have a problem with it. In fact, I like it a lot. I know there was some controversy about a Christian undertone or sub-theme and I don't know why. All fairy tales have a good vs. evil, do-the-right-thing, morale. So what if this one does too? And actually, the story is actually about love conquering fear.

I specifically like two things about it. First, there is a lot of humor in it. There is humor for the Little Man. He laughs at the reindeer, Sven, and the snowman, Olaf. I laugh at all the adult humor and subtleties. Actually, it is more humorous to adults I think. Second, is the music. Sure, every Disney movie is famous for its soundtrack and every movie as an Oscar nominated song as does this one, and this one won. But it is not that song, which is fabulous, that I like. What I like is that many of the songs are duets. That's wrong. Not duets. Opera. The music is VERY operatic. It is such a divergence from the typical twittery songs in children's movies. Not the scales or screeching of opera but powerful, harmonic, intertwining, lyrics and music.

If you get a chance to see the movie, do so. It's really good. And, like Little Man, you'll want to see it again. And again, and again, and again.....

Ha ha ha ha!

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Laughter is the best medicine. It's an old adage, and a popular section in Reader's Digest, and so true. Ask any woman and she'll tell you that a man with a sense of humor is very attractive, no matter what he looks like. I mean really, Jerry Seinfeld isn't GQ but as soon as you laugh, he's handsome. The same could be said for the recently departed David Brenner, one of my favorites from childhood. I can't think of anyone who doesn't like a comedy club, regardless of the drink minimum and cover charge. Being around people who make us laugh is something we all like.

But what does it mean to be "funny?" Is it acting funny? People do laugh at the Keystone Cops and their slap-stick antics. Then there is the phenomenon of the The Three Stooges. I mean really? Three grown men slapping each other in the head is funny? There's a lot to be said for physical humor - Dick van Dyke, Lucille Ball, Charlie Chaplin, Steve Martin, Tim Conway, Carol Burnett, Jim Carrey, Don Knotts - just to name a few physical comedians. They always succeed in making us laugh. And clowns have been around for  centuries and seem to bring joy to people. (Personally, I find clowns creepy.)

Observational comedians such as Bob Newhart, George Carlin, Bill Cosby, and Phyllis Diller are funny without the physical element. They bring to light the ridiculousness in our every day life by simply exaggerating our silly human actions and responses and most often there is more than just an element of truth to it. Although these comedians tend to be more cerebral than their physical counter-parts, they are just as funny.

Still, what does it mean to be funny? Is it life observations? Is it exaggeration? Is it timing? Who are these joke writers? How do you write funny? Is it merely a matter of writing real actions, real thoughts, real conversations and allowing the audience to find the humor on their own? Does it have to make me as a writer laugh when I write it?

I long to have funny sections in my novel. I want the funny, odd, weird, quirky side of my characters to come through. I want them to be just as funny as they are serious or pathetic or uplifting. Yet, it seems that funny is more difficult to write. Still working on it.

Twisted?

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So, my friend Allison and I were hanging out at my house with the kids and husbands and we, Allison and I, were bantering back and forth stories from the comical to the grotesque and comically grotesque. I was regaling her with a story about a cat I had and how this cat would present me a gift on my birthday - a rat with the head still attached. Other times, she would present the rat without the head but consistently on my birthday it would have the head. So, I laughed and said that I Prefer Flowers to Rat Heads would be a pretty good title for a short story. We laughed. Then we noticed our husbands looking at us funny. They told us that we were dark and twisted. That made us laugh more.

I don't think of myself as dark or twisted but I do have, perhaps, a sideways view of life with an appreciation of the ironic and a sarcastic and cynical sense of humor. But dark? I don't think so. Twisted? Not really. But perhaps a writer's outlook has to lean more toward the dark rather than rosy.

Think about the stories you like. Every one of them has some sort of trouble/conflict/suspense/drama. Even the humor stories have some element of dark in order to show the light. It is the dark side of the story that brings forth the humanity, humor, love, or whatever the theme is meant to be. It is the twist that gives the story interest - showing the paradox or irony or duality.

So, maybe it's okay to be dark and twisted. Maybe that's what it takes to craft a story. Maybe, that's what it means to really see and experience all the emotions of life. And I do prefer flowers to rat heads.

Mardis Gras

Today is Mardis Gras which is French for Fat Tuesday. Fat because it is the last day of feasting, revelry, and bacchanalia before the Lenten season which is a time of sacrifice, meditation, and atonement. It is also known as Shrove Tuesday. Shrove is a derivation of the word shrive which means "to confess." Some will spend today in confession with themselves or their clergyman confessing and contemplating their sins and short-comings and what they will do during Lent to amend their lives. Personally, I prefer revelry.

Whatever your denomination or lack thereof, everyone knows about the raucous celebration in New Orleans. Beads, cake, parades, public drunkenness, and outdoor urination. All of which, in my youth, seemed like a good time. (Except the outdoor urination. Eewww.) In Rio de Janiero and other Latin/Iberian countries it is called Carnival. It doesn't get anymore obvious than that.

The whole thing about today is to celebrate the last feasting and partying and good time for the six weeks leading up to Easter. It is to separate normal times from the next major important event. For Christians around the world, that event is the celebration of the Resurrection of Christ. People of the Jewish persuasion celebrate Passover at roughly the same time. In Islam there is the celebration of Isra' and Mi'raj the celebration of the Prophet Muhammad being raised into heaven.

Although it is today, this feast day, this party time, that is recognized most newsworthy, to me it is the next six weeks that is most important. Lent is difficult. Lent is reflection. Lent is getting right with yourself and your mindset. Even if you don't adhere to a particular belief, this is still a good time to reassess where you are and what you want to accomplish.

For me, I sacrifice meat. I go vegetarian during Lent. It's hard. I don't like vegetables. But, it makes me recognize my fortune at living where I do and having the life I have and to be grateful for it. It makes me be thoughtful and creative about what to eat and when to eat. It makes me more adventurous in the kitchen with flavors and spices. The daily sacrifice makes me aware of the sacrifices others have made for me. I gain too. I gain in that I typically lose weight and begin to feel better, lighter, more energetic.

So, tomorrow, I begin six meatless weeks. But that's when the really meaty stuff begins.

Out Loud

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Okay, I have sensitive hearing. I wake up in the middle of the night if Little Man removes one of his socks. So to me, most everything is too loud. Frankly, I don't like the assault on my ears and the pain it causes. The day begins with an alarm and it seems that things just get louder as the day progresses. By bedtime, my ear drums usually throb.

I don't like LOUD music. I don't like LOUD music emanating from someone else's car. I don't really like to go to the movies because, you guessed it, they are too LOUD. The TV is too loud most of the time. We recently purchased a TV and we were shown an assortment of sound bars to go with it. No. Absolutely NOT in my house. And, no, I do not like surround sound. The last thing I want is loud noises coming at from all around.

There are two things that really bother me about the volume of the TV. First, there are some channels that have the program's volume so low that you have to increase the volume just to hear it. AMC is one of these offending channels. Then, when they go to commercial, they are SO LOUD because you have the volume turned up. Seriously, can't they hire someone to balance the volume between program and commercial? Second, is basic balancing within a program or movie. Why are some scenes, okay dialogue mainly, so low that you can't hear it and the sound track or explosions so loud they blow the speakers? Really? You can't afford a sound engineer?

Currently we are having a tiling/pixelating issue with our cable. Apparently, the cable box doesn't handle HD signals very well. The cable company tells us to turn off the box to "reset" it whenever we call to complain. I'm pretty sure this is on page 1 of the Customer Service How-To-Blow-Off-The Customer-Handbook. Got a problem with tiling? Reset the box. Have a question about your bill? Reset the box. Anyway, the problem is not just the tiling screwing with the picture, it cuts the sound in and out too. The only thing worse than having it too loud is getting half a sentence.

Aside from movies and the TV being loud, Little Man does his fair share of noise-making. He has several drums, songs he sings, a "keyboard", and a constant adorable chatter where he creates his own worlds and stories going on in them. The chatter stops for two reasons - he's sleeping or he's eating. He hums when he eats so even then he's noisy. I thank God everyday he's a happy, funny Little Man and his noises don't really bother me all that much anyway (except for the drums).

Anyway, it's time to try to find a quiet place to settle down and perhaps read a chapter, or write a chapter. It's time to unplug, stop throbbing, and relax.

Yenta

I am a collector. I collect interesting things. I don't collect knick-knacks or bobbles or commemorative plates and coins. I do collect books but that is righteous and hardly considered a collection - more like a beginning library. Anyway, what I collect is information. This usually take the form of business cards and take-out menus.

In a recent "The Kill Zone" blog, James Scott Bell posted about discoverability. It's an interesting look at being successful as a writer. In a nut shell it talks about how writing is hard, marketing is easy, and discoverability is our of our hands. And he's right. To be successful at whatever we want to do we have to be discovered. We can shout as loudly as we can from the tallest mountain we can climb about how great we are or how great our product is, but until someone listens and buys what we're selling, it means nothing.

What I've found during my lifetime is that getting your needs fulfilled is hard if you don't know where to look. It used to be that if you needed a plumber you let your fingers do the walking and checked the yellow pages. Now you can go online and search for ratings, or comments on Angie's List (provided you don't mind paying for a subscription AND they have a site in your area). I have found that the BEST way to get a reputable plumber or electrician or a recommendation for a good restaurant is by word of mouth. What businesses, and really all of us, need is not more marketing, they need networking - matchmaking.

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Wherever I've lived I've paid attention to what people say, collect business cards and other tidbits that are of interest. It helps that I'll talk to anyone about anything. (It also helps if you live in an area where people actually are willing to share information.) That way if I overhear someone needing a plumber, I can pipe up and suggest one. Need an electrician? I have one of those too. A clock repair man? Yup. Need trees removed? I have a recommendation. For a business, a good reputation and recommendations are the key to survival if not growth.

It's that way with regular people too. Sometimes we just need to be matched with the right church, parent group, or whatever. So, if someone offers you a business card or suggests something, pay attention and give it a try. You may be surprised to find that the best match isn't made by the biggest marketing budget. Listen to the Yenta.

Lessons at the Point of a Knitting Needle

photo and mitten
by LeeAnn Rhoden

I learned to knit about a year and a half ago. It was something I always wanted to learn how to do but just never sat my butt in a chair and did it. Then I learned about the knitting and crocheting group our church has on Wednesday nights. I do crochet so I thought I'd join and lend my hands to the projects of making prayer scarves for the Confirmands, prayer shawls for those in the hospital, baby blankets for newborns, and scarves and hats and mittens for the homeless and those in need. It was in this class I learned to knit.

I was taught by a woman who had been knitting for several years and since that time I've actually been able to teach new-comers how to knit and/or crochet depending on their desire. I have even been added to our local Joann's Fabrics instructors list to teach knitting and crocheting. Now all we have to do is get people to sign up for the classes!

Knitting and crocheting are needle arts that have been around for centuries, and probably millenniums. It is a craft that is passed from one person to another, and over time more often than not, woman to woman. Knowledge about the size of the needles, the size of the yarn, the patterns, the combination of stitches and twists, to take a ball of yarn and turn it into a sweater, or blanket. Something that is greater than its parts.

It reminds me of story telling. Weaving this way and that way, combining a knit with a purl give the fabric a more stretchy quality, yet strand knitting allows for beautiful Nordic patterns. And if you pull a few stitches off to the side and replace them at just the right point in just the right way you create beautiful cables and Celtic knots. Creating the right plot and subplots and intertwining them bringing in characters, back story and details a precisely the right moment and you have a magical tale. I can envision groups of ladies gathered together knitting and telling stories.

Knitting has also taught me several life lessons. First, knitting can be easy. A straight knit back and forth can quickly and easily become a scarf. Make it wider and longer and it's a blanket. Knitting is also tedious and can be boring. It takes time and patience. Second, making it more interesting by adding purls or cables or knots or stripes requires that you pay attention. One dropped stitch and you have a hole in the middle of your fabric. It's not easy to pay attention on one project that can literally take months to complete. Third, the more you knit, the more you want to do it and the more complex the projects become. A sweater, an intricate blanket, a hat knitted in the round.

But I also learned that it is the small things that become the most befuddling. A simple mitten can bring a grown woman to tears. I attempted mittens for Little Man since it got cold and he didn't have a pair. My first attempt was, well, garbage.  My second mitten was much better. I'm working on a mate for the second mitten. I'm not discouraged. Practice makes perfect, or better anyway. In time I will create my own mitten pattern, adding my part of the story to the women who come after me.

Namaste

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Yesterday I went to my first yoga class. I've decided to try yoga as a way of stretching and limbering up muscles that have become less limber with time and as a no-impact exercise that won't irritate my back but instead, strengthen my back. The class I signed up for is the easiest class, a beginner class. This means that there were a lot of old people in the class. This is fine with me since I am, ahem, over 35. Even so, the class was fairly strenuous and I actually worked up a glow (I don't sweat).

What I discovered is that I am actually more limber and flexible than I thought. I have a few trouble areas, but for the most part, I think this will help stretch out those stiff areas. The problem I have is balance. This is not a surprise considering that for 23 years I've had a spine out of alignment and my body has been compensating by creating its own "balance." My hope is that with this class helping to strengthen my core muscles and my chiropractor keeping me aligned, I'll be able to get back to normal.

The key is balance. Not just physiological balance, or physical/environmental balance, but balance in life. Yes, keeping a schedule is necessary and my schedule is nothing if not busy. Rarely does a day go by that I'm actually able to complete everything on my list of things to do. But part of balance is being able to let myself not finish my tasks so I can take Little Man to run in the park. There will always be another day to work. Balance between tasks, hobbies, enjoyment, obligations, likes and dislikes. In balance there is peace and in peace there is creativity. Namaste.

Which Would You Choose?

There is a question floating around on social media sites asking what power you'd prefer to have. The choices are fire starter, telepathy, or time travel. Hmmm..... Well, I can see all sorts of applications for fire starting. That might even be fun, well, not for what (or who) is being set on fire, but I'd giggle. Telepathy would have been a useful thing to have in my early years, or while dating, but now I really don't care what other people think. But time travel seems to be both fun AND useful.

Image from Time Machine

I don't know what the parameters are of time travel, not having read enough science fiction, but from what I've been able to deduce from Jules Verne and Back To The Future it seems like anything you do to change/alter the past effects the future. I'll keep that rule because it is reasonable. I also don't know what form it would take be it a Victorian sleigh or a Delorean but it doesn't really matter as long as it doesn't take up too much room.

So, what would I use the time machine for? All sorts of things. Like that time I said something stupid and didn't mean to - I'd go back in time and not say it. Maybe I'd be a better dresser or make different decisions. Maybe there are people I'd be kinder to, or treat differently. I love my life the way it is, so I wouldn't want to change how it turned out, so I'd want to be absolutely sure to not stray too far from the path that lead me here.

Aside from the theoretical, my time machine would be working everyday. First, I'd get done the things that I have to do like house work. I could spend the day cleaning, doing laundry, going to the grocery store, cooking, etc. And then once the chores are done, let's say at 4:00, I can go back in time to do the things I want to do like writing, knitting, needlepoint, etc. My question is, once it is 4:00 again, will the house be suddenly clean and all my projects done? Hmmm.... Maybe it is better if the time machine would make time stand still so everything could get done and THEN time could move one. Sort of like a treadmill. But not.

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I don't know if a time machine would actually work for me. Maybe I'd be better off with telekinesis. That way I could just think about cleaning the house and watch the beds make themselves, the dishes load themselves into the dish washer, the vacuum run on its own (I so want a Rumba). What power would you want and why?

Let The Sunshine In

One of the projects we have to do at our fixer-upper house is landscaping. There was an abundance of incorrect landscaping and an abundance of "what is that?" landscaping. We tore out the old, dead, leggy, overgrown shrubs and replaced them with new plants. Some areas we cleared out all together. Still, there was the issue of the trees. We have huge pine trees in the front of the house that shade our house and hide it from view. Alas, the cost of removing the trees was HUGE so we decided to put it off until we could save enough pennies, well, dollars. Still, even with the yard work that we've done, it made a huge improvement with the curb appeal. So, lacking the stack of dollars necessary to make the BIGGEST impact, we turned our attention for this year back to the interior renovations.

Nature, however, had a different plan. One of the five trees decided to start leaning toward the house. Understandable with all the rain we've had this year and pines being shallow rooted things to begin with. Then, to make its intentions clear, the tree leaned more and decided to show its root ball. Needless to say, we hired a company to remove the tree. Actually, we had to remove two trees - we had to remove one to get to the leaning one. Yes, of course we asked the HOA for permission to remove it since it does effect the exterior of the house. The trees were removed on Saturday and approval to have the trees removed came on Monday. I'm so glad.

It is amazing the amount of light that now comes into the house. Our master bedroom, which was always dark, is now bright and cheery. I don't have to turn on a light to put laundry away in the middle of the day. The front of our house is visible from the street and our new shrubs get not just morning light, but morning and early afternoon light as well. The down side is not I can see that I need to sweep and dust in the front rooms.

My point is, is that just the removal of one (or two) obstacles can shed light on things that were previously hidden. That's what I'm doing with my revisions. I realized that part of the gaping holes in my novel were obstacles that I had placed on myself. I'm removing those and moving forward with revisions, and yes, the prequels to the series I envision.

Another New Day, Another New Year

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It's New Year's Day and thus a day to hang out in front of the fireplace and watch football between naps and meals. Many people stayed up to watch a ball (or some other symbolic object) drop, drink irresponsibly, and then made resolutions on how they're going to change their lives for the better. Some others rose with the sun and greeted the new day and new year with coffee and renewed energy to make resolutions on how they're going to change their lives for the better.

I did not stay up. I did wake up when the neighbors set off fireworks to ring in the New Year. I did not get up at dawn, but I was woken up when the Little Man came to me because he wet the bed. I started the day with roughly five hours of sleep. That's alright, I don't need to be coherent since I don't make resolutions. I do, however, set goals.

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This year's goals are ambitious. For kicks and giggles here are a few of them:

1. Teach Little Man to dress himself.
2. Teach Little Man table manners - or at least how to eat with utensils.
3. Teach Little Man how to read and write.
4. Complete front yard curb appeal of the house - with the exception of taking down the big trees.
5. Complete the "easy" renovations of the house. "Easy" means that only wallpaper needs to be removed or minor drywall repairs need to be done. The "MAJOR" renovations, like the kitchen or bathrooms, will be another time.
6. Put in a vegetable garden.
7. To FINISH my revisions/rewrite on my novel and to finish the other one I've been nibbling at.
8. To organize my writing schedule and stick to it.
9. To get to the gym.
10. To finish my knitting projects before starting a new one.
11. To organize my craft/project schedule and stick to it.

It is ambitious if you take the list as a whole. But each new day begins a new year and a whole new opportunity to catch up on the list, add to the list, or subtract from the list. Focusing on only one goal at a time makes it a little easier to complete. I don't worry about whether or not my goals, meeting them or not, will change my life for the better. My life is perfect the way it is.

Santa and Archeology

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We took Little Man to see Santa Claus the other night so he could tell Santa what he wants for Christmas. We watched and smiled and gave each other smug grins and elbow taps with each item Little Man said he wanted. Then he said something new. "I want a kitchen," he said. Not just an added item as an after thought. NO. He said it with enthusiasm. Husband and I looked at each other and mouthed "Kitchen?" Needless to say, husband spent time fighting traffic and crowds looking for a kitchen to add to Santa's gifts. Don't want to disillusion Little Man at such an early age.

Tonight Santa comes and he will deposit gifts under the tree that will be added to the number of things that parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles have already placed there. Even without Santa, Little Man has a lot of stuff. Perhaps too much stuff. And really, he has waaaayyyy too much stuff when it is combined with the stuff he already has. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to deprive my Little Man of the things he needs or even wants, but there comes a time when enough is enough. I can tell his grandparents and aunts and uncles to only give him clothes and socks because he outgrows them overnight. What he gets is who knows what. Well, we'll know tomorrow. All I know is when I shake a box, it rattles. Socks don't rattle.

It's fine, really because just as quickly as he out grows his clothes, he out grows his toys. The problem is getting him to relinquish the toys he no longer plays with. He likes to keep all things that belong to him. It's not his fault. He comes from two parents who have sentimental attachments to their stuff too. We're getting better but we're not yet at the point where we can easily just let something go. My sister has mastered the "minimalist" life-style. We are still trying to simply stay off the show Hoarders.

Image from
commons.wikimedia.org

Which brings me to the next holiday that's right around the corner - Purge Day. While most people are making their New Year's resolutions (which I don't do), I'll be cleaning out the cupboards, closets and drawers. The first thing to tackle will be the Little Man's old toys. This is equivalent to an archeological dig and actually does require the assistance of several post- graduate interns.

It's not just deciding which toys stay, and which toys go, they must first be reassembled into their original and intended form with all original parts in tact and in place. Only then can the toys be triaged: cleaned and given to the church or friends, or discarded. Since Little Man is creative and uses parts interchangeably from toy to toy and then puts the "left over" parts in various boxes, bags, totes and pockets, the reassembling of his toys is on the magnitude of reconstructing Pompeii.

Until Purge Day it is time to just enjoy the toys and the paper and boxes and the chaos of the week watching Little Man play with his new toys and watching husband construct the things that need "some assembly." Have a Merry Christmas!

It Takes Two to Tangle

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Little Man's new favorite movie is Tangled, the Disney adaptation of the Rapunzel fairy tale. He likes the chameleon, Maximus the horse, the action, and the music. He's too young yet to appreciate the subtle humor, the love story, the tragic loss, or the allusions to other pieces of classic literature and jokes. I'm not usually one to like the revisionist versions of classic fairy tales that Disney puts out since they tend to dilute the stories or change them so that their original moral value is all but missing. But this one doesn't bother me as much as others. I actually like this movie.

While we were watching it today for the third time in a row, I discovered that I have a soft spot for Mother Gothel. She is supposed to be the villain in this tale, but I find that she is more of a tragic character that villainous. And she reminds me of Cher in Moonstruck. See?


Image from gaiaonline.com

Image from collider.com





 

 

 

 

 

Anyway, I read on someone's blog, well, several different blogs actually, that the antagonist/villain is the hero in their story. I watched the movie from the point-of-view from Mother Gothel. She is an old woman who discovers the magical flower from the sun that restores her youth. The flower is harvested to save the queen but now Gothel will surely die of old age. When the queen delivers a baby daughter with the healing, glowing hair, Gothel visits the babe to take only a lock of her hair in hopes of restoring her youth. The hair doesn't work once it is cut so Gothel then takes Rapunzel with her. It isn't until Rapunzel's eighteenth birthday does our action begin.

 

Yes, Gothel snatched a baby away from her parents. Yes she kept her locked in a tower. Yes her motivation was selfish. But what really happened? She didn't harm the baby. She fed the child, clothed the child, taught her to talk, walk, read, write. Gothel would even travel for days to bring back the special paints Rapunzel liked. She made Rapunzel feel loved and safe. In the end, she meets her demise - a justified one because she does turn to manipulation and murder - but all she wanted to do was to stay young.

 



 Her story started me thinking once again about the revisions I've put off for far too long and what is the story of my antagonist? How can I make that more compelling? How can I make my antagonist more sympathetic? (It was very well done in the movie Falling Down) How can I get my antagonist's story and my hero's story to be more intertwined, more tangled? It's time to get back to writing.

Bucket List

My long-time friend from all the way back in college recently had the opportunity to be a balloon handler in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. She was part of the crew that led the Kool-Ade man. Pretty cool. She said it was something on her Bucket List and she felt good about crossing it off. Soon, a friend is taking off for a cross-county adventure. He’s relieved himself of his worldly possessions and will heading west to see what there is to see. I don’t know if that is on his Bucket List per se, but it sounds like something that should be.

Image from
homeimprovementbasics.com

So I started thinking; what exactly is a Bucket List? What are the criteria for something making it onto the Bucket List? Are these items things you really, really want to do and actually work toward doing? Or just stuff you’d like to do if you can? If it’s the later, then that’s more of a Shrug List. Are the things on the Bucket List fluid? For example, if I wanted to climb Mt. Everest, but now it wouldn’t be possible for whatever reason, can I take it off the list and replace it with something else? What if I don’t complete my list before I kick the bucket? Does my child have to take on my list? Do I spend time in purgatory watching others do those things? But I digress.

For me, a Bucket List consists of things I’d really like to do, fantasize about doing, dream about doing and try to plan toward. It is fluid and it changes with my personal circumstances. There are several items that were once on my list that no longer make the grade. Others I’ve accomplished and they’ve been checked off. For kicks and giggles, these are ten things on my list.

1.      Get a Mustang convertible GT (done and I recently totaled it)

2.      Build a house (done)

3.      Have a family (done)

4.      See every state (I’ve seen a good number of them already)

5.      Learn to tat. I should say, learn to make Irish lace.

6.      Take an Italian cooking class – in Italy!

7.      Be a published author (revising my first novel!)

8.      Ride on the Orient Express

9.      Complete my family tree/history (working)

10.  Travel – see South America, Europe, Australia, New Zealand, Iceland

 
What’s on your list? Let me know.

Believe It Or Not

At a recent critique group meeting I had the pleasure to read a piece from one of our members and someone I consider a friend. Usually I really like his writing - it's clear, well developed, unique, a pleasure to read in general. This time, I was befuddled. His characters lacked introduction, he jumped too far into the action, there seemed to be contradictory information. I was so confused. This was not like his writing. What I didn't realize until later that what I was reading was the third installment of a story he's working on. I missed the first couple of chapters. Yes, I missed a month of critique group meetings due to family engagements so I was out of the loop and therefore justly confused by his story.

What I missed was the initial premise. Every story has one and the reader is expected to willfully suspend their disbelief in order to enter this new world, the life of the character, to follow the story. This is necessary for the reader to accept the story and "get into it." How else can you expect science fiction to be successful, or horror, or even romance? No matter how I tried to suspend my disbelief, I didn't have the initial premise of his story.

The initial premise is vital to, well, everything. Every story, every situation in life has an initial premise that we are expected to willingly suspend our disbelief and therefore agree with. But what happens if you don't agree with the initial premise? What if you just can't suspend your disbelief? As a writer that would be bad because then you've lost your reader from the beginning. We've all read books we "just can't get into." But what about in other applications?

I don't usually get political here and it has been my policy to leave that alone as much as possible so I will NOT make a political statement but an observation on something that is a political topic. I saw posted on Facebook an article from watchdog.net about female voter suppression. This was a blurb of an article was linked back to a longer article from Occupy Democrats. You can read the articles for yourself by clicking on the links. Anyway, the longer article is about the voter ID law in Texas and how it will suppress voter's rights by requiring photo identification.

The articles go on to establish their arguments:

1. There are only 81 DMV's in 254 counties and rural citizens are burdened by the lack of a local DMV.
2. Most of the rural inhabitants are minorities and therefore it is restrictive of minorities.
3. Many poor and elderly citizens don't drive and therefore do not have a need for a photo ID and now they are being required to get something they don't need or want.
4. The law also requires the ID to have the person's legal name and this is particularly discriminatory to women who are changing their names due to marriage. *The shorter article finds this the most heinous because it doesn't effect men.*

The woman who posted this was particularly insulted because men weren't effected by a name change and that's her privilege. She was willing to suspend her disbelief and agree with that part of the argument.

Here's my question: what if you aren't willing to suspend your disbelief? What if you don't buy into any of their arguments? Not just these, I'm speaking generally. What if we as citizens didn't readily believe any premise that was presented to us from either side of the argument. What if we, instead, required our representatives to work harder for our disbelief?

I think, perhaps, if our citizenry was as skeptical and suspicious of the initial premises instead of labels of Progressive, Liberal, or Conservative, we'd have a better run country. And that's my initial premise for today. Believe it or not.

Thank You Clarence!

Unless you live under a rock, then you know that today is Thanksgiving. This is my favorite holiday because it is a universal holiday. It doesn't matter your faith, your background, or anything else. It is simply the day to pause and be thankful for what you do have. I am thankful for my family, my friends, my fixer-upper home, and all the opportunities that come my way.

photo by LeeAnn Rhoden

Yes, I am cooking today. Sort of. I cheated by getting a pre-cooked rotisserie chicken from the store (I don't like turkey), but the rest of the meal I'll be cooking - mashed potatoes, gravy, squash medley, and stuffing. I made pumpkin spice cake from a recipe I got from my friend, Allison, for dessert and there is a cherry pie in the kitchen too. My husband surprised me with an early Christmas gift. He gave me a new coffee maker! I love it!!

The one thing I am truly thankful for is Clarence. Clarence is my guardian angel. He isn't a graceful angel. He's not the type that will prevent me from walking out in front of a bus by distracting me with a lovely pair of shoes in a shop window or serendipitously running into an old friend and stopping to say hello. No. Clarence will prevent me from walking out in front of a bus by having me trip over my own feet and spraining my ankle. Anytime something happens that is just too weird for words, I know it is Clarence doing what he does because shortly there will be a blessing in some form. Sometimes, it's hard to appreciate Clarence's methods. Sometimes I'd rather be distracted by the pretty shoes. But, alas, Clarence is just clumsy and, well, I get that.

Yesterday, Clarence visited me. I don't know if I was saved from something else that would have been catastrophic at that time, or perhaps in the near future, but he was definitely with me. It's Clarence's way. My day started out as usual - got my husband off to work, fed the dogs, got the boy up and fed and dressed. My morning was busy: going to the gym, returning a library book, going to the post office to pick up a package, going to the grocery store to get milk, ice cream, and the Thanksgiving chicken. Finally, at the request of the Little Man, a trip to Dunkin Donuts to get a donut and a chocolate milkshake.

It rained the day before. It rained all night. The roads were wet. I should have said "no" to the trip to get donuts. On the way home, Clarence came into my life. What happened? I hydroplaned in a left-hand turn, over corrected and continued sliding up onto a curb and into a tree. Yes, my beloved Mustang, my Eleanor, hit a tree. Hard. Yes, I know they don't handle well on wet roads. I know you shouldn't over correct. I know! Whatever. It happened.



Photo by LeeAnn Rhoden

How bad was it? Well, the air bags didn't deploy and the engine didn't even stop running and I had to shut it off with the key. Little Man did drop his milkshake all over the back seat and himself. He was crying about that and then suddenly very excited about the "broken car." The worst of it was I had to call my husband to come home from work. And I was extremely embarrassed to have traffic blocked by the tow truck. Oh, it's probably totaled because the front end collapsed, the radiator is trashed and the hood crumpled. I am sure there is more engine damage. Maybe it can be repaired. Maybe not. Either way, it's okay because we are okay. I don't know what Clarence's plan is. Frankly, he could've just left me a post-it note on the fridge. But the fact that no one was hurt, even the tree had just a few scrapes, lets me know that at some point, I'll see why he did this.

In the meantime, I'll give thanks for today, my family, my friends, the opportunities that come everyday with the sunrise, and for Clarence. What are you thankful for?

Questions

Photo from Fanshare.com

Little Man has started with questions. Why do we sleep at night, Mama? Where is the puppy dog going? How do we get to the store? When does Santa come? Who's that? When does Grandma come? I'm reminded of the scene from Uncle Buck between John Candy and Macaulay Culkin when the little boy is asking rapid-fire questions. It can be both entertaining and exasperating at the same time. This is how he learns and gains information about his world. And my responsibility as his parent is to give him accurate and truthful information at his level.

Little Man: Mama, how did a baby get in Allison's tummy?
Me: God put it there.
Little Man: Can we have ice cream?

All his questioning has me questioning if I still question things. Oh sure, there's the reaction to whatever is on the news, "What was he thinking?" or "Why would they do something so stupid?" Most of the questions that get raised on the news or through social media I already have an answer to, or at the very least a formed opinion. I know what the guy was thinking and why they did something stupid. Those are reactions, not real questions. A real question is when you are genuinely seeking an answer, a fact, a truth.

I know why the sky is blue and the grass is green. I know the earth is round and the moon is not made of cheese. Those are easy questions to answer. And I'm not talking about questions like "What are your plans for this weekend?" That's schedule coordination. But a question, a real question, is more like, "What is my purpose for being on this earth? What is my place?" I think to some degree those questions we always ask. And perhaps, the answers change depending on our stage in life.

For now, my questions will be, "How do I make this scene better?" and, "What does this character want?" or "Why would this character do that?" It's still revision time and I need to get my novel put back into shape and FINALLY get it done.

Baking Day!!

I like to cook and I'm good at it but lately I haven't been too inspired. Little Man will only eat goldfish and chicken nuggets these days so making two meals at each meal time can be daunting. I do because my husband doesn't want to eat chicken nuggets and goldfish for every meal. The kitchen in our fixer-upper house is less than ideal for cooking; there's no flow. That doesn't mean that I don't whip out an awesome meal from time to time, because I do. And once we get around to remodeling and redesigning the kitchen, cooking and creating can resume.

In the meantime, Little Man is growing and because he's a boy, he eats all the time. No, he won't eat what he should like vegetables and such. Instead, he grazes in the pantry and the refrigerator all day. If he can't reach something, or open something, he calls me to come do it for him. It can be exhausting just feeding him all day. Often I walk into the kitchen to discover the refrigerator standing open. My husband, who was also a growing boy at one time, suggested that I keep a plate or dish of things the boy can just grab and eat. His mom did for him. He even told me a funny story of how he ate an entire pie after school as a snack. And yes, he ate dinner too. Sadly, the pie was not meant to be eaten as a snack.

So, today is baking day. I plan on baking muffins, cookies, and brownies. I hope the Little Man will like them. My plan is to get him to help me make these things. He likes to help in the kitchen and sometimes he takes an interest in something new if he's "cooked" it with Mommy. I know I'm looking forward to a warm blueberry muffin with butter on it. Mmmmm!

But, before I can start the baking of goodies, it's my turn to write on our blog and I need to bake up a good continuation of our story line. What things do you do for snacks for the family? What do you do when you need inspiration? What thoughts do you have about The Southern Tablet? Would love to hear from you!