Stuck Between A Dog And A Doorjamb

Our fixer-upper house is, obviously, an older house. A late 20th century home to be exact. A traditional, colonial revival. It is not one of the newer open floor plan homes where the living space is one giant room - living room, dining room, and kitchen - all together. Our home, having a traditional floor plan, is made up of lots of rooms - a living room, a dining room, and a kitchen - all compartmentalized. I was raised in a compartmentalized house. Husband was raised in a compartmentalized house. It's what feels right to us. It also makes it easier when Little Man is being little monster and needs to be in time out for a few minutes - we can put him in another room, away from the stimulus that caused his tantrum. Or he can continue his tantrum out of our earshot. Either way it's a win-win.

There are lots of plusses with separate rooms. I can be banging and clanging in the kitchen and Husband can be watching TV in the family room and my noise won't disturb his viewing pleasure. Also, we can entertain and have people over for dinner and they aren't looking at the mess I made creating the feast. I can even put off doing dishes and kitchen cleaning after dinner and enjoy the evening because out of site, out of mind.


The down side to having separate rooms is doorways and entry ways. There are several passageways that seem to collect the family (Husband, Little Man, me, and both dogs) at precisely the same time creating a traffic jam. Usually at dinner time or when we are trying to get ourselves together to leave the house. It's like the Three Stooges.

To me it seems odd that we have this issue in our home and I don't know what to do about it. I don't recall this problem in my home when I was growing up. Maybe I need to reorganize the house so that there is one way traffic through the doorways and passages. But that won't work either. Perhaps in our fixer-uppering I should suggest to Husband expanding the size of these areas. If we remove the back staircase, move the main stairs, knock out the half bath and move it to the laundry hall where the back stairs used to be ..... I don't think he'll go for it. Maybe later, after we're done with the fixer-uppering and time has passed and it will be time for remodeling. *smile* As a writer I call it rewriting and revising. *grin*

Discontinued

Every now and then I go shopping. I don't like to go shopping so it's not often. Well, let me clarify - I don't like shopping for clothes and such. I DO like shopping for things like appliances, cars, furniture, houses, interior décor, bags (luggage and purses), and kitchen gadgets. But clothes? Not so much. The result of my not enjoying shopping is that I end up wearing hand-me-downs from my mother who DOES like shopping, or clothes I've had since college. And they look like I had them in college - out of style, frayed, faded, perhaps stained. And after Little Man was born, most everything I owned was stained with some sort of food, formula or bodily function of and infant/baby/toddler.

So, every now and then I go shopping. This last time I went clothes shopping it was at the behest of my wonderful husband who handed me the credit card with a smile and said, "I love you. Go buy some clothes." So, okay, I searched for the most economical method of buying clothes (coupons, online deals, etc.) and I shopped. I got several new outfits that will do for the summer. I'll worry about autumn and winter if they ever come back. Now I need new shoes. I really hate shopping for shoes because since Little Man was conceived my feet have swollen up and no amount of diuretics takes the fluid out. My once single w-i-d-e feet are now double w--i--d--e. And guess what? No one makes double wide cute shoes. I do have a pair of Nikes I like but I can't really wear them with my new dress to church.

Because I don't like shopping I tend to wait long periods between going. And once I've found something I like, when it's time to get something new I'll look for the thing I like. Recently I found myself in need of a new bra. I still need a new bra because I haven't gone to get a new on yet. I did go online to the store I purchased it from, and searched for the brand name and model number. Guess what - discontinued. What? Why?!

Photo by Salvatore Vuono
www.freedigitalphotos.net

That's just the latest discontinuance that has crossed my life. It's happened before with lipstick, eye shadow color, eye liner, hair brushes, shampoo, soap, perfume, air filters, blankets, upholstery material, pens, and light fixtures. Now I can add bras to the list. I know what you're going to say, "So, go buy something different." I don't want something different, I want what I liked. I don't like change. Besides, that would involve shopping.

See, it's not really the buying that bothers me; it's the shopping. Shopping involves going to the stores, searching through the shelves and racks, trying things on, thinking about the item and deciding if it's right/comfortable/looks good. It's too much like work.

Being discontinued is the message that you've become too comfortable. Life is too easy. You've been discontinued unless you get up and get out there and no matter how busy you are, go and find something else that is just as good. It's life.

Have you ever been discontinued? What was it? What did you replace it with?

On a new note - I have been able to link this blog site to my website www.leeannrhoden.com so you can read it there as well as learning all about me and other things.

Father's Day

Photo by Winnond
www.freedigitalphotos.net

Last Sunday was Father's Day. We spent that weekend with a trip to visit my dad and a whirlwind trip to the Virginia mountains where Little Man was born. Since Husband and I are not good with the gift-hint thing, Husband is still deciding what he wants for Father's Day. When he decides, he'll tell me, and Little Man and I will go get it. Or if it's heavy, Husband will get it. It may sound cavalier that we pick our own gifts, but it's not. When we get it, we get exactly what we want. And, being *ahem* over 35, our romantic expectations are more realistic. Even though Husband would probably be proud of his wife for knowing exactly what power tool would be perfect, I would be a little creeped-out if he knew the perfect purse.

What Father's Day is, is the appreciation of fatherhood. Fathers are important. I know that my dad was, and is, very influential in my life and someone I know I can always turn to for advice, truth, and support. Love you Dad! There has been, it seems, a message since the 1970s at least, that fathers aren't necessary. I think that explains the number of single mothers increasing in number. Depending on the source you investigate, the statistics show that as much as one-third of the children in the U.S. are born to single mothers.

So, these are the questions that pop into my mind:

• Where are the fathers of these children? Why don't they take responsibility for their offspring?
• Why would any woman want to be a single mom? It's hard work made harder without support.
• What is the impact of fatherlessness on the children?

I think a lot of nonsense has been spewed in recent years in the media and college campuses that try to equate male and female roles. "A woman can do anything a man can do." "Women are equal to men." "Men can be equally nurturing in child care as a woman." Blah, blah, blah. While I don't dispute the equality of men and women, I say out loud, we are not the same. Our abilities and skills are not the same. Our minds are not the same. Our bodies are not the same. So, equal and equally important, yes. The same? No! Duh.

I know that when Little Man feels tired, sick, hungry, lonely, uncomfortable, or scared he will cling to me. And when Little Man feels like exploring, learning to do something, being physical, or playing he wants his dad. Why? because I nurture, coo, hold, sing, comfort, and provide calm consistency. Husband, on the other hand, provides strength, confidence, and surety. Our equal but different qualities provide Little Man with all his emotional needs.

Shouldn't we as a culture be concerned about the children? I don't say society because we do that already. We provide subsidized housing, day care, medical care, school breakfast and lunch, free education, etc. As a society we do provide for the children. Our village does help support the children when the families cannot do it alone. But as a culture shouldn't we strive for more than just child support? Shouldn't we say, "Hey, fathers are important." "Intact families are important." Shouldn't we recognize that it takes two - a father and a mother - to make the child and thus raise the child with their equal albeit different strengths? Isn't the emotional stability of the child just as important as its financial stability?

I haven't even touched on discipline. Mothers discipline much differently than fathers. And how do you discipline and soothe at the same time? Father's make more head-way in instilling appropriate behavior by being stern. Will there be tears? Probably. That's when mom steps in as support to the discipline, wiping tears, explaining that the child is still loved but the behavior isn't, how to apologize, etc. It take two.

Anyway, Father's Day is a day to appreciate the fathers in our lives and to let them know they are loved and needed and respected. Happy Father's Day Dad and Husband! I love you both!

Bags

A while back, on a different blog, I wrote about my love of bags. I love bags, all sorts of bags - luggage, purses, canvas bags (the bigger the better), backpacks, diaper bags - you name it, I either have it, want it, or covet it. I referred to myself as a bag lady because at any given time there are bags all around my spaces in my house because I use them as organizational tools. I have a knitting bag that contains current projects. Each project has its own bag to keep them separated. I have a computer bag when I need to take my laptop with me. I have a writing bag that has binders and folders in it of ideas and scribblings. The pool/beach bag hangs on the coat rack at the ready stocked with towels, sunscreen, and toys. Wherever I go, I'm usually toting a bag (sometimes with more bags in it) that contains something to keep me busy.

There is one bag that gets more abuse and neglect than any other bag is my purse. I know women who change out their bags to match their outfits. I know women who *gasp* don't carry a purse. I know women who manage to have the same purse day in and day out, yet it rarely shows any wear and tear. I haven't been able to find a purse that suits my needs perfectly let alone several to match a number of different ensembles. My poor purse looks like it went three rounds in the gorilla cage - cracked leather, frayed seams, missing zipper pulls. And just who are these women that can carry the cute dainty purses? And no purse? These are not human women.

Swiss Gear SA1908
Image from www.amazon.com

I thought I'd prepare for summer and the "Summer of Fun" activities with Little Man and look for a backpack that could be a purse/carryall where I could carry my laptop/knitting/book/notebook/water/snacks/purse stuff/Little Man needs AND keep my hands free. Alas, that is not the case. I realized that such a contraption would be more of a piece of carry-on luggage. In fact, the closest thing I could find was a Swiss Gear SA1908. Heck, why not just keep carrying the diaper bag?

For the summer and the "Summer of Fun" activities, I have returned to an old stand-by backpack/purse I used in the old days when Husband and I would go on motorcycle trips. It's roomy but not too big. I wear it like a backpack and thus my hands are free. It's leather so it is durable and water-tight, at least in a quick rain shower. It does not hold my laptop, knitting, book, notebook, snacks, water bottles, or Little Man stuff. I still need an extra bag for those things. Sigh.

My current purse for the
Summer of Fun

And this is my problem. At the end of this "Summer of Fun" I will need to transition from the backpack purse to something more autumnal. Dressier perhaps. And right now I don't have anything in my closet that is suitable. The purse I just vacated is in no condition to return to.

Fortunately, I LOVE shopping for bags. Husband is sweet and offered to get me a purse for my birthday/anniversary/Christmas/Mother's Day/ just-because-I-love-you gift. However, a purse is personal and can't be a gift. I have to feel the purse for it to be right, the same way a man needs to feel right about a new wallet. A purse isn't just another bag, it's a part of me. I am a bag lady after all.

Update on the "Summer of Fun." We went to the Georgia Renaissance Festival last weekend and Little Man got to see knights, princes, kings, queens and all sorts of medievally-garbed people. It was also pirate day so there were a multitude of pirates, male and female, wandering about. There was one Roman soldier too; I don't know why. We have also attended a magic show which was exciting and this week we go berry picking and we will make strawberry shortcake. Little Man is having fun and keeping busy. I'm exhausted.



Puzzles

Image from Wikipedia

I have decided I have an addictive personality. I'm not addicted to drugs, or alcohol, or anything bad, although I did smoke for a number of years. I'm not addicted to working out, gambling, or shopping. I'm not addicted to cleaning, although my mother is so it's AWESOME when she comes to visit. No, I don't think it's wrong to let her clean. She hums and smiles while she sweeps. Besides, she's the only one who knows where the dust mop is. But, I digress. My addictions are more mundane and probably boring to most people. What are they? Coffee, Diet Coke, Little Man's hugs, the use of the Oxford comma, good food, and puzzles. I am a puzzle-holic.


Image from blog.discoverymagazine.com

I love all sorts of puzzles: jigsaw, cryptograms, word jumbles, anagrams, Sudoku, you name it. Recently, I discovered a Sudoku app for my IPhone. Glee! The result has been that at the expense of other chores or conversation, I spend lots of time on my Sudoku app. Any puzzle will draw my attention like a shiny object. SQUIRREL!

This also translates to really anything I have to figure out or concentrate on to get right. A complex knitting pattern, crochet pattern, needlepoint pattern, embroidery stitches, a new recipe, organizing a schedule or creation of a Gantt chart. I love the focus and concentration these take. It allows me to escape deep into my own brain, my focus, my thoughts. It's alone time while the chaos swirls around me. Truly, when I am in deep concentration I don't even hear what is going on in the same room. It's calming and soothing. I guess that's why I enjoy reading and writing mysteries. Inside the mystery is a place of calmness for me.

I recently read a post from a blog on writing that characters should be given hobbies. These hobbies can better identify the mental function of the character so the readers, especially those familiar with the hobby, can relate to the characters. So, I think, Walter may actually be a puzzle addict. Why else would he be a detective?

What are some other hobbies out there? What do they tell you about the person who has these hobbies? What do your hobbies say about you?

Sticks and Stones

I was going to write a blog about the Generation Gap that afflicts every generation. This was prompted by the posts I see from friends who are younger who seem to be focused on the most unusual things. I think the topics are unusual anyway, and perhaps all the emotional vitriol that goes into these posts is also unnecessary. Obviously, the younger generation feels these topics are important. I'm not negating the importance of the topics, just really how much time, energy and emotional investment put into them is something that my generation just doesn't see. On the other side of the coin, there are things my generation gets bent out of shape about that the younger generation just doesn't get. Usually, comments about the topics degrade from discussion to angry disagreements.

Image by Stuart Miles
www.freedigitalphotos.net

It's the arguing that I will address today. More and more in social media and even on the "news" there seems to be more arguing than discussing. There is nothing wrong with opposing opinions, ideologies, or positions. In fact, our first right is the freedom of speech. We have the RIGHT to say what is on our minds and in our hearts. There are a few caveats that go with that. We have the RESPONSIBILITY not to created havoc with out speech. We cannot shout "fire" in a crowded auditorium as this will cause panic and people can get hurt. Also, we cannot use our language to incite violence or persecution against a person or group.

But, it seems that lately whenever there are two opposing opinions being presented, the discussion devolves into an argument wherein one side will accuse the other side of hate speech, or racial discrimination, or gender discrimination, or sexual orientation discrimination, or religious hegemony and then the other side will protest and say it's position is being stifled and they are victims are discriminatory tactics. Sigh. What all that is two 6-year olds saying "nuh-huh" and "ya-huh" until they storm off mad at each other without any actual listening, learning, discussing and debating going on.

Really, our freedom of speech does give us the RIGHT to say what we want to say provided with do so with RESPONSIBILITY. With that right comes the chance that someone will say something we disagree with. We might even get our feelings hurt. Boo hoo. And this is the important thing - HURT FEELINGS AND DISAGREEMENT IS NOT HATE SPEECH. So, everyone just needs to calm down. Let's put the skills of debate back into our classrooms. Let's try listening to the other opinion (even if it's stupid), and let's use facts to back up our point, not emotion.

One final word. Eliminate "Politically Correct" language. It muddies the waters and makes it impossible to actually communicate using real words and real language that have real definitions. And if your feelings get hurt remember, "sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you."

It takes Two

Back in September I wrote a blog about a few pet peeves I have. I left one out, but today I shall rant on! Actually, not rant, just say out loud the thing that bothers me right now (and for the past few years) and what I have done and what I will do about it going forward. So, what has gotten me all worked up? *Deep inhale* Narrow parking spaces.

I realize that businesses, in an effort to get more people into their establishments, try to squeeze as many parking spaces as possible into their parking lots. Here's the thing: if people cannot open their car doors enough to get out of their cars, they cannot go into your business. Perhaps the smaller spaces are a subliminal way they (whoever they are) are trying to get people to buy smaller cars, be smaller people, or tote less stuff. I don't know.

No, I do not drive a Smart Car, or a Fiat, or a Mini Cooper. I drive a truck. A BIG truck. A W-I-D-E truck. The vehicle occupies the ENTIRE space with the doors closed. I like to exit the truck when I've arrived at my destination and that requires opening the door. Yes, I like to open the door all the way so I can get out in comfort. I do not like to shimmy and wiggle out of the vehicle afraid my door may tap the neighboring car. And when I have to remove Little Man from his seat, I need to open the door all the way. Even more so when I'm wrestling him into his seat.

I understand that the size of my vehicle and my comfort are not the concern of other people. In an effort to not make my issues the problem of others, I park waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out in the very back of the parking lots. Rain and shine. Still, someone will eventually park next to me and I will not be able to put Little Man into the car or get myself in without tapping the neighbor. God forbid a wind come up and grab the carefully balanced door and slam it into the next car. Best laid plans....

So, what to do? Going forward I have vowed to be "that person." I will continue to park in the nether regions but from now on I will park directly over the dividing line thus occupying two spaces so I may fling open my doors wide with abandon! No worries, no neighbors. I suggest that others take this pledge to be two-spacers until they (whoever they are) make parking spaces wider and more accommodating to those of us with trucks, Suburbans, Escalades, Expeditions or other comfortable family car. Let's ALL be two-spacers!

Children's Movies?

So, my Little Man LOVES Disney movies. All of them. I know because I have seen all of them in the past year. Every. Single. One. Of. Them. Name one and I've seen it, over and over and over again until he has memorized the storyline AND the songs. Then he will run through the house with his figurines and reenact the movie complete with soundtrack. Yes, it's adorable and annoying at the same time. And he will pick his favorite characters and name his figurines after them. His latest favorite is Frozen and we've seen it at least five times in the past two days.

Ask any of my former students and they will tell you that I am not a big fan of Disney's movies that are adaptations of classic tales. At least not as the only access to the tales. Why? Because they've been revised and I can't stand revisionists. They change the outcome and therefore the moral of the story. For example, in The Little Mermaid they do not live happily ever after like in the movie rather the little mermaid dies. Same thing in The Hunchback of Notre Dame. There's no singing and dancing and everyone dies. No, I don't think small children need to be exposed to death, I'm just saying that when they get older they should be introduced to the real story. However, I read The Little Mermaid when I was no more than four or five years old and I haven't suffered any ill effects.

Anyway, this movie is as far removed from Hans Christian Anderson's The Ice Queen as to be an original story so I don't have a problem with it. In fact, I like it a lot. I know there was some controversy about a Christian undertone or sub-theme and I don't know why. All fairy tales have a good vs. evil, do-the-right-thing, morale. So what if this one does too? And actually, the story is actually about love conquering fear.

I specifically like two things about it. First, there is a lot of humor in it. There is humor for the Little Man. He laughs at the reindeer, Sven, and the snowman, Olaf. I laugh at all the adult humor and subtleties. Actually, it is more humorous to adults I think. Second, is the music. Sure, every Disney movie is famous for its soundtrack and every movie as an Oscar nominated song as does this one, and this one won. But it is not that song, which is fabulous, that I like. What I like is that many of the songs are duets. That's wrong. Not duets. Opera. The music is VERY operatic. It is such a divergence from the typical twittery songs in children's movies. Not the scales or screeching of opera but powerful, harmonic, intertwining, lyrics and music.

If you get a chance to see the movie, do so. It's really good. And, like Little Man, you'll want to see it again. And again, and again, and again.....

Ha ha ha ha!

Image by Grant Cochrane
www.freedigitalphotos.net

Laughter is the best medicine. It's an old adage, and a popular section in Reader's Digest, and so true. Ask any woman and she'll tell you that a man with a sense of humor is very attractive, no matter what he looks like. I mean really, Jerry Seinfeld isn't GQ but as soon as you laugh, he's handsome. The same could be said for the recently departed David Brenner, one of my favorites from childhood. I can't think of anyone who doesn't like a comedy club, regardless of the drink minimum and cover charge. Being around people who make us laugh is something we all like.

But what does it mean to be "funny?" Is it acting funny? People do laugh at the Keystone Cops and their slap-stick antics. Then there is the phenomenon of the The Three Stooges. I mean really? Three grown men slapping each other in the head is funny? There's a lot to be said for physical humor - Dick van Dyke, Lucille Ball, Charlie Chaplin, Steve Martin, Tim Conway, Carol Burnett, Jim Carrey, Don Knotts - just to name a few physical comedians. They always succeed in making us laugh. And clowns have been around for  centuries and seem to bring joy to people. (Personally, I find clowns creepy.)

Observational comedians such as Bob Newhart, George Carlin, Bill Cosby, and Phyllis Diller are funny without the physical element. They bring to light the ridiculousness in our every day life by simply exaggerating our silly human actions and responses and most often there is more than just an element of truth to it. Although these comedians tend to be more cerebral than their physical counter-parts, they are just as funny.

Still, what does it mean to be funny? Is it life observations? Is it exaggeration? Is it timing? Who are these joke writers? How do you write funny? Is it merely a matter of writing real actions, real thoughts, real conversations and allowing the audience to find the humor on their own? Does it have to make me as a writer laugh when I write it?

I long to have funny sections in my novel. I want the funny, odd, weird, quirky side of my characters to come through. I want them to be just as funny as they are serious or pathetic or uplifting. Yet, it seems that funny is more difficult to write. Still working on it.

Twisted?

Image courtesy of Kamnuan
www.freedigitalphotos.net

So, my friend Allison and I were hanging out at my house with the kids and husbands and we, Allison and I, were bantering back and forth stories from the comical to the grotesque and comically grotesque. I was regaling her with a story about a cat I had and how this cat would present me a gift on my birthday - a rat with the head still attached. Other times, she would present the rat without the head but consistently on my birthday it would have the head. So, I laughed and said that I Prefer Flowers to Rat Heads would be a pretty good title for a short story. We laughed. Then we noticed our husbands looking at us funny. They told us that we were dark and twisted. That made us laugh more.

I don't think of myself as dark or twisted but I do have, perhaps, a sideways view of life with an appreciation of the ironic and a sarcastic and cynical sense of humor. But dark? I don't think so. Twisted? Not really. But perhaps a writer's outlook has to lean more toward the dark rather than rosy.

Think about the stories you like. Every one of them has some sort of trouble/conflict/suspense/drama. Even the humor stories have some element of dark in order to show the light. It is the dark side of the story that brings forth the humanity, humor, love, or whatever the theme is meant to be. It is the twist that gives the story interest - showing the paradox or irony or duality.

So, maybe it's okay to be dark and twisted. Maybe that's what it takes to craft a story. Maybe, that's what it means to really see and experience all the emotions of life. And I do prefer flowers to rat heads.

Mardis Gras

Today is Mardis Gras which is French for Fat Tuesday. Fat because it is the last day of feasting, revelry, and bacchanalia before the Lenten season which is a time of sacrifice, meditation, and atonement. It is also known as Shrove Tuesday. Shrove is a derivation of the word shrive which means "to confess." Some will spend today in confession with themselves or their clergyman confessing and contemplating their sins and short-comings and what they will do during Lent to amend their lives. Personally, I prefer revelry.

Whatever your denomination or lack thereof, everyone knows about the raucous celebration in New Orleans. Beads, cake, parades, public drunkenness, and outdoor urination. All of which, in my youth, seemed like a good time. (Except the outdoor urination. Eewww.) In Rio de Janiero and other Latin/Iberian countries it is called Carnival. It doesn't get anymore obvious than that.

The whole thing about today is to celebrate the last feasting and partying and good time for the six weeks leading up to Easter. It is to separate normal times from the next major important event. For Christians around the world, that event is the celebration of the Resurrection of Christ. People of the Jewish persuasion celebrate Passover at roughly the same time. In Islam there is the celebration of Isra' and Mi'raj the celebration of the Prophet Muhammad being raised into heaven.

Although it is today, this feast day, this party time, that is recognized most newsworthy, to me it is the next six weeks that is most important. Lent is difficult. Lent is reflection. Lent is getting right with yourself and your mindset. Even if you don't adhere to a particular belief, this is still a good time to reassess where you are and what you want to accomplish.

For me, I sacrifice meat. I go vegetarian during Lent. It's hard. I don't like vegetables. But, it makes me recognize my fortune at living where I do and having the life I have and to be grateful for it. It makes me be thoughtful and creative about what to eat and when to eat. It makes me more adventurous in the kitchen with flavors and spices. The daily sacrifice makes me aware of the sacrifices others have made for me. I gain too. I gain in that I typically lose weight and begin to feel better, lighter, more energetic.

So, tomorrow, I begin six meatless weeks. But that's when the really meaty stuff begins.

Snow!

I grew up in Rhode Island so I'm no stranger to snow. It's pretty and white and wet and cold and slippery and when it melts it makes mud everywhere. Get enough snow and it has to be shoveled off the driveway and brushed off cars. It's heavy. I do like snow and there's nothing more fun than an old fashioned snowball fight, except winning a snowball fight. There's building igloos and snow forts and sledding and making money by shoveling people's driveways for them. Snow, as a kid, was always great fun. Then there are the snow days when school was cancelled. Of course, in Rhode Island that had to be a substantial amount of snow since it wasn't an odd occurrence and we were usually prepared for it, expected it. I have lots of snow memories, the most pronounced is the Blizzard of '78.

I lived in Florida for most of my adult life and it doesn't snow there. Then my husband and I moved to Virginia and it snows occasionally there. We'd get flurries and a few inches about once or twice a winter. It wasn't until I was pregnant that we got a REALLY BIG snow fall. It didn't matter since I was too nauseated to go anywhere. I practically hibernated that winter anyway. Then we moved to Georgia.

Our first winter in Georgia and we had a snow. Not a big snow. Mostly ice and it was gone a day or two later. This is our fourth winter in Georgia and it snowed again! This time we actually got an accumulation of about 3 inches and Little Man is old enough to enjoy it.

Photo by LeeAnn Rhoden

We made snow balls, we made trails through the snow, we drew in it with sticks, we made a snow castle and then stomped on it. We went out in the morning and then again in the afternoon after our mittens dried out. Today, the snow is mostly ice and it will be gone by this afternoon. I just hope that it lasted long enough to engrave an image on Little Man's heart so he can look back fondly on snow memories.

Yenta

I am a collector. I collect interesting things. I don't collect knick-knacks or bobbles or commemorative plates and coins. I do collect books but that is righteous and hardly considered a collection - more like a beginning library. Anyway, what I collect is information. This usually take the form of business cards and take-out menus.

In a recent "The Kill Zone" blog, James Scott Bell posted about discoverability. It's an interesting look at being successful as a writer. In a nut shell it talks about how writing is hard, marketing is easy, and discoverability is our of our hands. And he's right. To be successful at whatever we want to do we have to be discovered. We can shout as loudly as we can from the tallest mountain we can climb about how great we are or how great our product is, but until someone listens and buys what we're selling, it means nothing.

What I've found during my lifetime is that getting your needs fulfilled is hard if you don't know where to look. It used to be that if you needed a plumber you let your fingers do the walking and checked the yellow pages. Now you can go online and search for ratings, or comments on Angie's List (provided you don't mind paying for a subscription AND they have a site in your area). I have found that the BEST way to get a reputable plumber or electrician or a recommendation for a good restaurant is by word of mouth. What businesses, and really all of us, need is not more marketing, they need networking - matchmaking.

Image by digitalart
www.freedigitalphotos.net

Wherever I've lived I've paid attention to what people say, collect business cards and other tidbits that are of interest. It helps that I'll talk to anyone about anything. (It also helps if you live in an area where people actually are willing to share information.) That way if I overhear someone needing a plumber, I can pipe up and suggest one. Need an electrician? I have one of those too. A clock repair man? Yup. Need trees removed? I have a recommendation. For a business, a good reputation and recommendations are the key to survival if not growth.

It's that way with regular people too. Sometimes we just need to be matched with the right church, parent group, or whatever. So, if someone offers you a business card or suggests something, pay attention and give it a try. You may be surprised to find that the best match isn't made by the biggest marketing budget. Listen to the Yenta.

Which Would You Choose?

There is a question floating around on social media sites asking what power you'd prefer to have. The choices are fire starter, telepathy, or time travel. Hmmm..... Well, I can see all sorts of applications for fire starting. That might even be fun, well, not for what (or who) is being set on fire, but I'd giggle. Telepathy would have been a useful thing to have in my early years, or while dating, but now I really don't care what other people think. But time travel seems to be both fun AND useful.

Image from Time Machine

I don't know what the parameters are of time travel, not having read enough science fiction, but from what I've been able to deduce from Jules Verne and Back To The Future it seems like anything you do to change/alter the past effects the future. I'll keep that rule because it is reasonable. I also don't know what form it would take be it a Victorian sleigh or a Delorean but it doesn't really matter as long as it doesn't take up too much room.

So, what would I use the time machine for? All sorts of things. Like that time I said something stupid and didn't mean to - I'd go back in time and not say it. Maybe I'd be a better dresser or make different decisions. Maybe there are people I'd be kinder to, or treat differently. I love my life the way it is, so I wouldn't want to change how it turned out, so I'd want to be absolutely sure to not stray too far from the path that lead me here.

Aside from the theoretical, my time machine would be working everyday. First, I'd get done the things that I have to do like house work. I could spend the day cleaning, doing laundry, going to the grocery store, cooking, etc. And then once the chores are done, let's say at 4:00, I can go back in time to do the things I want to do like writing, knitting, needlepoint, etc. My question is, once it is 4:00 again, will the house be suddenly clean and all my projects done? Hmmm.... Maybe it is better if the time machine would make time stand still so everything could get done and THEN time could move one. Sort of like a treadmill. But not.

Image by John Kasawa
www.freedigitalphotos.net

I don't know if a time machine would actually work for me. Maybe I'd be better off with telekinesis. That way I could just think about cleaning the house and watch the beds make themselves, the dishes load themselves into the dish washer, the vacuum run on its own (I so want a Rumba). What power would you want and why?

Another New Day, Another New Year

Image by Stuart Miles
www.freedigitalphotos.net

It's New Year's Day and thus a day to hang out in front of the fireplace and watch football between naps and meals. Many people stayed up to watch a ball (or some other symbolic object) drop, drink irresponsibly, and then made resolutions on how they're going to change their lives for the better. Some others rose with the sun and greeted the new day and new year with coffee and renewed energy to make resolutions on how they're going to change their lives for the better.

I did not stay up. I did wake up when the neighbors set off fireworks to ring in the New Year. I did not get up at dawn, but I was woken up when the Little Man came to me because he wet the bed. I started the day with roughly five hours of sleep. That's alright, I don't need to be coherent since I don't make resolutions. I do, however, set goals.

Image by pakorn
www.freedigitalphotos.net

This year's goals are ambitious. For kicks and giggles here are a few of them:

1. Teach Little Man to dress himself.
2. Teach Little Man table manners - or at least how to eat with utensils.
3. Teach Little Man how to read and write.
4. Complete front yard curb appeal of the house - with the exception of taking down the big trees.
5. Complete the "easy" renovations of the house. "Easy" means that only wallpaper needs to be removed or minor drywall repairs need to be done. The "MAJOR" renovations, like the kitchen or bathrooms, will be another time.
6. Put in a vegetable garden.
7. To FINISH my revisions/rewrite on my novel and to finish the other one I've been nibbling at.
8. To organize my writing schedule and stick to it.
9. To get to the gym.
10. To finish my knitting projects before starting a new one.
11. To organize my craft/project schedule and stick to it.

It is ambitious if you take the list as a whole. But each new day begins a new year and a whole new opportunity to catch up on the list, add to the list, or subtract from the list. Focusing on only one goal at a time makes it a little easier to complete. I don't worry about whether or not my goals, meeting them or not, will change my life for the better. My life is perfect the way it is.

Bucket List

My long-time friend from all the way back in college recently had the opportunity to be a balloon handler in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. She was part of the crew that led the Kool-Ade man. Pretty cool. She said it was something on her Bucket List and she felt good about crossing it off. Soon, a friend is taking off for a cross-county adventure. He’s relieved himself of his worldly possessions and will heading west to see what there is to see. I don’t know if that is on his Bucket List per se, but it sounds like something that should be.

Image from
homeimprovementbasics.com

So I started thinking; what exactly is a Bucket List? What are the criteria for something making it onto the Bucket List? Are these items things you really, really want to do and actually work toward doing? Or just stuff you’d like to do if you can? If it’s the later, then that’s more of a Shrug List. Are the things on the Bucket List fluid? For example, if I wanted to climb Mt. Everest, but now it wouldn’t be possible for whatever reason, can I take it off the list and replace it with something else? What if I don’t complete my list before I kick the bucket? Does my child have to take on my list? Do I spend time in purgatory watching others do those things? But I digress.

For me, a Bucket List consists of things I’d really like to do, fantasize about doing, dream about doing and try to plan toward. It is fluid and it changes with my personal circumstances. There are several items that were once on my list that no longer make the grade. Others I’ve accomplished and they’ve been checked off. For kicks and giggles, these are ten things on my list.

1.      Get a Mustang convertible GT (done and I recently totaled it)

2.      Build a house (done)

3.      Have a family (done)

4.      See every state (I’ve seen a good number of them already)

5.      Learn to tat. I should say, learn to make Irish lace.

6.      Take an Italian cooking class – in Italy!

7.      Be a published author (revising my first novel!)

8.      Ride on the Orient Express

9.      Complete my family tree/history (working)

10.  Travel – see South America, Europe, Australia, New Zealand, Iceland

 
What’s on your list? Let me know.

Thank You Clarence!

Unless you live under a rock, then you know that today is Thanksgiving. This is my favorite holiday because it is a universal holiday. It doesn't matter your faith, your background, or anything else. It is simply the day to pause and be thankful for what you do have. I am thankful for my family, my friends, my fixer-upper home, and all the opportunities that come my way.

photo by LeeAnn Rhoden

Yes, I am cooking today. Sort of. I cheated by getting a pre-cooked rotisserie chicken from the store (I don't like turkey), but the rest of the meal I'll be cooking - mashed potatoes, gravy, squash medley, and stuffing. I made pumpkin spice cake from a recipe I got from my friend, Allison, for dessert and there is a cherry pie in the kitchen too. My husband surprised me with an early Christmas gift. He gave me a new coffee maker! I love it!!

The one thing I am truly thankful for is Clarence. Clarence is my guardian angel. He isn't a graceful angel. He's not the type that will prevent me from walking out in front of a bus by distracting me with a lovely pair of shoes in a shop window or serendipitously running into an old friend and stopping to say hello. No. Clarence will prevent me from walking out in front of a bus by having me trip over my own feet and spraining my ankle. Anytime something happens that is just too weird for words, I know it is Clarence doing what he does because shortly there will be a blessing in some form. Sometimes, it's hard to appreciate Clarence's methods. Sometimes I'd rather be distracted by the pretty shoes. But, alas, Clarence is just clumsy and, well, I get that.

Yesterday, Clarence visited me. I don't know if I was saved from something else that would have been catastrophic at that time, or perhaps in the near future, but he was definitely with me. It's Clarence's way. My day started out as usual - got my husband off to work, fed the dogs, got the boy up and fed and dressed. My morning was busy: going to the gym, returning a library book, going to the post office to pick up a package, going to the grocery store to get milk, ice cream, and the Thanksgiving chicken. Finally, at the request of the Little Man, a trip to Dunkin Donuts to get a donut and a chocolate milkshake.

It rained the day before. It rained all night. The roads were wet. I should have said "no" to the trip to get donuts. On the way home, Clarence came into my life. What happened? I hydroplaned in a left-hand turn, over corrected and continued sliding up onto a curb and into a tree. Yes, my beloved Mustang, my Eleanor, hit a tree. Hard. Yes, I know they don't handle well on wet roads. I know you shouldn't over correct. I know! Whatever. It happened.



Photo by LeeAnn Rhoden

How bad was it? Well, the air bags didn't deploy and the engine didn't even stop running and I had to shut it off with the key. Little Man did drop his milkshake all over the back seat and himself. He was crying about that and then suddenly very excited about the "broken car." The worst of it was I had to call my husband to come home from work. And I was extremely embarrassed to have traffic blocked by the tow truck. Oh, it's probably totaled because the front end collapsed, the radiator is trashed and the hood crumpled. I am sure there is more engine damage. Maybe it can be repaired. Maybe not. Either way, it's okay because we are okay. I don't know what Clarence's plan is. Frankly, he could've just left me a post-it note on the fridge. But the fact that no one was hurt, even the tree had just a few scrapes, lets me know that at some point, I'll see why he did this.

In the meantime, I'll give thanks for today, my family, my friends, the opportunities that come everyday with the sunrise, and for Clarence. What are you thankful for?

Questions

Photo from Fanshare.com

Little Man has started with questions. Why do we sleep at night, Mama? Where is the puppy dog going? How do we get to the store? When does Santa come? Who's that? When does Grandma come? I'm reminded of the scene from Uncle Buck between John Candy and Macaulay Culkin when the little boy is asking rapid-fire questions. It can be both entertaining and exasperating at the same time. This is how he learns and gains information about his world. And my responsibility as his parent is to give him accurate and truthful information at his level.

Little Man: Mama, how did a baby get in Allison's tummy?
Me: God put it there.
Little Man: Can we have ice cream?

All his questioning has me questioning if I still question things. Oh sure, there's the reaction to whatever is on the news, "What was he thinking?" or "Why would they do something so stupid?" Most of the questions that get raised on the news or through social media I already have an answer to, or at the very least a formed opinion. I know what the guy was thinking and why they did something stupid. Those are reactions, not real questions. A real question is when you are genuinely seeking an answer, a fact, a truth.

I know why the sky is blue and the grass is green. I know the earth is round and the moon is not made of cheese. Those are easy questions to answer. And I'm not talking about questions like "What are your plans for this weekend?" That's schedule coordination. But a question, a real question, is more like, "What is my purpose for being on this earth? What is my place?" I think to some degree those questions we always ask. And perhaps, the answers change depending on our stage in life.

For now, my questions will be, "How do I make this scene better?" and, "What does this character want?" or "Why would this character do that?" It's still revision time and I need to get my novel put back into shape and FINALLY get it done.

Baking Day!!

I like to cook and I'm good at it but lately I haven't been too inspired. Little Man will only eat goldfish and chicken nuggets these days so making two meals at each meal time can be daunting. I do because my husband doesn't want to eat chicken nuggets and goldfish for every meal. The kitchen in our fixer-upper house is less than ideal for cooking; there's no flow. That doesn't mean that I don't whip out an awesome meal from time to time, because I do. And once we get around to remodeling and redesigning the kitchen, cooking and creating can resume.

In the meantime, Little Man is growing and because he's a boy, he eats all the time. No, he won't eat what he should like vegetables and such. Instead, he grazes in the pantry and the refrigerator all day. If he can't reach something, or open something, he calls me to come do it for him. It can be exhausting just feeding him all day. Often I walk into the kitchen to discover the refrigerator standing open. My husband, who was also a growing boy at one time, suggested that I keep a plate or dish of things the boy can just grab and eat. His mom did for him. He even told me a funny story of how he ate an entire pie after school as a snack. And yes, he ate dinner too. Sadly, the pie was not meant to be eaten as a snack.

So, today is baking day. I plan on baking muffins, cookies, and brownies. I hope the Little Man will like them. My plan is to get him to help me make these things. He likes to help in the kitchen and sometimes he takes an interest in something new if he's "cooked" it with Mommy. I know I'm looking forward to a warm blueberry muffin with butter on it. Mmmmm!

But, before I can start the baking of goodies, it's my turn to write on our blog and I need to bake up a good continuation of our story line. What things do you do for snacks for the family? What do you do when you need inspiration? What thoughts do you have about The Southern Tablet? Would love to hear from you!

Change Is A Good Thing

In just a matter of a few days, a few struggles, and a few tears, I am happy to announce Little Man is FINALLY potty trained. Yes, I expect a few accidents here and there, but he is now taking the initiative to do what he is supposed to do. Now to work on dressing himself. Soon, very soon, he will be mostly independent and will need me less and less. Yes, I am happy about this because I want him to be able and independent. I want him to grow up and be self-reliant and confident. I want a little me time back. Yes, this makes me sad because my baby is too fast becoming a little boy who will be a big boy and before too long be a young man. I miss my little snuggly guy. Already he pushes away when he's had too much. And dropping him off at school where he used to hug and cling to me, he now just waves me off and says, "Bye Mama."

Photo from Amazon.com

And just as quickly as they grow, they develop their own likes and dislikes. When he was a baby, one of his first words was 'tree.' He LOVED trees. We'd go to the park and he spent more time running from tree to tree, touching them, giggling, and saying "tree!" than he did playing on the slides. It was charming. So, what could a mother do? I put a tree in his room. Well, I ordered the tree and my husband put it up. I LOVED that tree. Recently, Little Man told me he didn't like the tree any more and he began pulling it off his wall. So today, with great sadness, I removed the rest of the tree. It was one of my favorite things about his room. And when I get around to fixer-uppering the bonus room into my craft/work room, I may order another one and put it in there. If you like it you can order it here. He took down all his Mickey Mouse stickers too. Now he's into pirates and fireworks. That will change someday too and he'll be into who knows what.

Meanwhile, my husband and I are celebrating our 7th anniversary on Sunday. Wow! Time flies when you are having fun! Where we started out celebrating our anniversaries with weekend trips, or visiting wineries for wine tasting, or a ride in the convertible or on the motorcycle. Now, we are going to a movie and then to dinner. We did that last year too. And I think we just went to dinner the year before that. Dinner and a movie used to be a common occurrence - now it's a treat. We don't get out much with our busy schedules and the Little Man and it's hard to sit in a dark movie theater without falling asleep since we've been sleep deprived for a number of years now. Don't laugh, but we are going to a matinee and then an early dinner so we can get home and get to bed at a reasonable hour. What can I say? We are both over 35. *ahem*

I'm constantly amazed how things change and never in the way I expect them too, and always for the best. Now that our literary journal has been launched and we're beginning to plan for March's issue, and I've finished the editing job I took on, and I'm finishing up the remaining projects I had, it's time to get back to my revisions on my novel (finally). While I've been toiling at other things, I've been marinating on ideas and scenes that need to be improved/discarded/rewritten. It's turning into quite a different story than I began. And that's for the better.